Thursday, January 05, 2006
This is a picture of Greta taken a few days ago. It is striking how much she looks like Esmé. When I look at this picture, I am looking into Esmé's eyes. Do the girls see the similarity in each other? I am told that both my daughters look very much like me; I can see that they look very much like each other, but do not recognize myself in them. I wonder why? I am not conscious or aware of what (or whom) I really look like?
Tonight I made Prosphera bread for the first time. I was very conscious of my thoughts and actions while making it. I found it a very peaceful ritual in an incredibly stressful day. Tomorrow morning my husband will pray for many people as he cuts it into pieces and uses it in the celebration of the Divine Liturgy. I am struck by the miraculous as I ponder how this bread will be transformed during the liturgy. God allows us, such sinful people, to participate in such an act of worship. He is such a loving God. If only I would allow Him to tranform me, flesh and bones and hurts, as He does this flour, water, yeast and salt.